How To Be An Alien. And Not To Loose Head.

I found one very smart text, that is worth sharing. Written by George Mikes [1912-1987] a while ago, published  by Wingate, London / NY in 1946, and sill great source of learning. Presenting to you, ladies and gentlemen: "A Handbook for Beginners and More Advanced Pupils".

"It was like this. Some years ago I spent a lot of time with a young lady who was very proud and conscious of being English. Once she asked me - to my great surprise - whether I would marry her. "No," I replied, "I will not. My mother would never agree to my marrying a foreigner." She looked at me a little surprised and irritated, and retorted: "I, a foreigner? What a silly thing to say. I am English. You are the foreigner. And your mother, too." I did not give in. "In Budapest, too?" I asked her. "Everywhere," she declared with determination. "Truth does not depend on geography. What is true in England is also true in Hungary and in North Borneo and Venezuela and everywhere."

I saw that this theory was as irrefutable as it was simple. I was startled and upset. Mainly because of my mother whom I loved and respected. Now, I suddenly learned what she really was.

It is a shame and bad taste to be an alien, and it is no use pretending otherwise. There is no way out of it. A criminal may improve and become a decent member of society. A foreigner cannot improve. Once a foreigner, always a foreigner. There is no way out for him. He may become British; he can never become English.

So it is better to reconcile yourself to the sorrowful reality. There are some noble English people who might forgive you. There are some magnanimous should who realise that it is not your fault, only your misfortune. They will treat you with condescension, understanding and sympathy. They will invite you into their homes. Just as they keep lap-dogs and other pets, they are quite prepared to keep a few foreigners."

To what extent is this true? So many my fellow nationals, and myself, have chosen to become alien somewhere, for all kinds of reasons. It is very exciting - and emotional - in the beginning; frustrating after some time passes and it becomes no longer a holiday; and getting more "normal" after a while. Local people are indeed very welcoming, although some have their own understanding how to help you integrate. (Oh, and I was doing same at home, too!!). When in reality all that foreigner needs is to be treated like everyone else. But then again - the language barrier, all the cultural misunderstandings.... Complications, complications!..

There are certain rules, however, following which one can blend in and make oneself as "acceptable and civilised as one possibly can". And that is probably the best way of integration. 

There is only one danger of overstretching. Just as George Mikes said: "Study these rules, and imitate the English. There can be only one result: if you don't succeed in imitating them you become ridiculous; if you do, you become even more ridiculous." True story.